How well does your partner know you?
How well do you know your partner?
You won’t find basic cliche dating application questions here.
Prepare to go well below the surface and discuss WHAT ATUALLY MATTERS in marriage & life. Dare to answer these truthfully and you will be amazed at the profound realizations that are sure to follow.
Answer the questions first, then dare your partner to answer them about you. Have a fun date night comparing your answers and connecting deeper before marriage.
The answers you receive might surprise you or they might shock you. Either way, hiding from each other’s naked truths is a sure way to find yourselves months after the wedding, fighting over couples disagreements that could have been prevented.
The last thing you want to do before you get married is ignore the red flags in avoidance of the hard and deep conversations about values and future aspirations that every couple should know about each other.
Directions for your couples quiz: “How well do you know your partner?”:
- Pretend your partner found this first and is asking you the questions. Act as if they are directed to you. Answer these super deep questions about your partner honestly and without holding back.
- Hold off until your partner takes the time to answer these premarital questions about you.
- Take time to compare the answers to these couples quiz questions.
- THIS IS IMPORTANT: We are only human, have compassion and understanding. Don’t assume that you will breeze through these. That’s not the point of this exercise. The point is to learn more about your partner before marriage and to deepen your understanding and mutual respect.
- Ask yourselves if premarital coaching would benefit your commitment to honor this type of honesty. A premarital counseling class with a certified relationship coach (that’s me!) is the perfect addition to your wedding planning checklist. Learn how couples stay together and navigate challenges better with the right tools here. BONUS: Complete the premarital coaching program & receive a certificate to display in your home as a sign that you can tackle anything. Together!
Questions To Ask Your Partner Before Marriage
These are not just any questions. These are deep relationship, discussion worthy values and questions to ask yourselves before marriage.
25 Deep Questions to Ask Your Partner About You & For You To Dare To Answer
The premarital couples questions compiled here are directly based on the top 20 couples arguments across the board about common disagreements that could have been prevented by clear communication from the start.
Let’s dive in!
1. How do I handle disappointment and setbacks?
Why do I ask: Knowing what you honestly think about my unique way of handling life is a big deal to me. I cannot see myself from your perspective and appreciate your feedback. Feel free to include some advice on what you think I should work on that will make life’s failures and roadblocks easier for both of us to navigate in our married life.
2. How do I feel about money and how has my upbringing influenced my money relationship?
Why do I ask: As we enter our marriage, finances and expenses will undoubtedly enter the room in a way they haven’t before. Seeing my money relationship through your eyes will help me identify some areas of work as we discuss who pays for what.
3. How much importance do I place on daily household chores and the cleanliness of our living space?
Why do I ask: Knowing if you think I should ease off or be more diligent about the status of our living space will help us both identify what is a happy medium in appropriation of chores and daily responsibilities.
4. Do I have a healthy relationship with my family? Why or why not?
Why do I ask: We are going to be intertwined together with our families (the ones we were born into our chose). I need to know what you think is healthy. If you think that my family takes advantage of me, I want to know. Or vice versa, if you believe there are things that could use adjusting – let me know your honest opinion.
5. What is my love language?
Why do I ask: I am curious to see what you believe is most important to me and shows me love & care: Acts of Service, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Touch or Words of Affirmation.
6. Am I affectionate enough and do I give you enough attention?
Why I ask: If you hesitated, then it’s especially important that I understand how much time you want us to spend together. I want to understand your unique needs for intimacy and personal space.
7. What are my biggest health & lifestyle concerns?
Why I ask: It’s hard telling someone to do better when you love them. This is a free pass for you to tell me some health and life concerns you have for me and even make suggestions on how we can work to better our lifestyle together as a team.
8. Am I on my phone/technology too much?
Why I ask: Thank you for being a mirror and being honest with me about my personal usage of digital devices. It’s important to me that we have a healthy balance and it starts with me.
9. Do I have ticks or habits that you find cute but slightly irritating at times?
Why I ask: Give it to me straight. I probably don’t even know I am doing it. What’s something I do that may become annoying over time even if it’s cute now?
10. What turns me on in bed and how much sex do I need?
Why I ask: I would love to hear your perspective and maybe even surprise you in the future!
11. How important are my friendships to me?
Why I ask: If you think I am spending too much time with my friends or not enough time making connections – let me know because I value your opinion as my future spouse.
12. What kind of parent am I or you think I will be?
Why I ask: Knowing if I am/will be a relaxed parent, a helicopter parent, a confident parent, etc. will help me see areas I may need to work on and ease my own stress around parenting.
13. What is my relationship with food?
Why I ask: I prioritize your opinion and care to understand areas of struggle or strength when it comes to different personal values.
14. Am I a jealous person?
Why I ask: How you think I handle your interactions with other people is important to me for so many reasons. Thanks for sharing your observations.
15. What is my view on politics?
Why I ask: I am interested to see what your thoughts are on this touchy subject. Share away!
16. How important are my friendships to me?
Why I ask: If you think I am spending too much time with my friends or not enough time making connections – let me know because I value your opinion as my future spouse.
17. What kind of parent am I or you think I will be?
Why I ask: Knowing if I am/will be a relaxed parent, a helicopter parent, a confident parent, etc. will help me see areas I may need to work on and ease my own stress around parenting.
18. What is my relationship with food?
Why I ask: I prioritize your opinion and care to understand areas of struggle or strength when it comes to different personal values.
19. Am I a jealous person?
Why I ask: How you think I handle your interactions with other people is important to me for so many reasons. Thanks for sharing your observations.
20. Am I at risk of falling into detrimental habits (drugs/alcohol)?
Why I ask: Hard questions like this help me see myself in a different way. I am excited to work together and help each other through all life’s struggles.
21. What are my career aspirations?
Why I ask: Do you think I put enough, too much or too little emphasis on my career and long term financial goals?
22. What would I do if I ever get cheated on?
Why I ask: Everyone has a different opinion and it’s important for us to discuss the bad as well as the good in our relationship.
23. What are my religious views?
Why I ask: I am curious what your thoughts are on my religion and spirituality and if we can agree or agree to disagree.
24. What is my favorite thing about YOU?
Let’s end on a happy note. Remember: I love you and respect you. I want to know you on a deep level and I want to share life’s mysteries & joy with you always.
Thank you for doing this questionnaire with me.
25. BONUS Question for both of you: Is a premarital couples relationship counselling class on your to-do list?
In addition to answering these in depth premarital questions as a fun exercise in getting to know each other, there are even better ways to connect and there are tools you will pick up when working with me as your premarital love & relationship coach.
What you will gain by scheduling a virtual premarital class with a relationship coach:
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Improved Communication: Premarital coaching will help you develop strong communication skills, essential for a healthy marriage.
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Conflict Resolution Skills: You will learn effective strategies to navigate future disagreements.
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Addressing Potential Issues: Premarital coaching provides a safe platform for you to discuss and resolve potential challenges before they become roadblocks.
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Enhanced Relationship Quality: Studies indicate that premarital counseling is associated with higher relationship satisfaction and lower divorce rates.
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Setting Realistic Expectations: You will align your expectations regarding marriage roles, finances, and family planning.
About The Author:
Hi! I’m Julie, a certified relationship coach for couples and singles.
Through my work, I empower couples to break free from patterns of disconnection and not only envision but create a revitalized relationship where love is not only rekindled but strengthened. Together, we explore strategies to reignite passion and growth, fostering a profound connection that stands the test of time.
Other Reads:
before you go
A little love note from Julie
I want to tell you that I’m here for you. If you’re having a tough time with love or just want to make your relationship stronger, I can help.
Everyone deserves a happy relationship where they feel loved and understood. Let’s work together to make that happen for you.
